Ozzie Guillen is a card. A wonderfully potty-mouthed, rant-y, filter-free card. He's not the King or Queen or or even the Jack. No, Ozzie (first names only from here on out -- there are quite a few Guillens in this drama) is that card with all those rules to games nobody cares about. Except on his card, the rules to each game are scrambled together, destructing the status quo, causing moments of confusion and petty "revenge".
I tried reading Ozzie's card once, but quit after three seconds of complete ignorance -- unable to comprehend the deeper meanings (or lack there of) of the games being described. They were just words thrown at each other that really didn't make sense together, but somehow still ended with a winner and loser. And if you followed the rules closely enough, you tended to win more times than not.
Needless to say, Ozzie Guillen doesn't play your typical card games. He'll calmly call out his players and coaches and then vehemently defend them. He'll get into public quarrels with his boss and come out better for it. He'll throw message ridden balls into the opposing team stands taunting fans. And, most recently, he'll question his own team's fan's loyalty (and then later the media's). (He also swears a lot.)
"They only remember the 2005 team (that won the World Series) in 2020 when we come here in a wheelchair," Guillen said. " 'Oh, yeah, thank you.' As soon as you leave the ballpark, they don't care about you anymore. … The monuments, the statues they have for you, they pee on it when they drunk. … 'Thank you for coming' for 30 minutes for all the suffering you did all your life, day in and day out.
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To fully understand Ozzie -- and this this entire situation -- you must at least acknowledge his brood (the Sox translator (Jr.), Sox scout (Oney) and Sox draft pick (Ozney)). Well, one of them, for sure -- Oney, the Joker of the pack. There never seems to be any real use for the Joker, until, that is, you bend the rules to keep it around. Yet, even when you allow it in the game, the Joker -- YOUR Joker -- always seems to find a way to screw you out of the big pot (doubly bad; when you need your mom -- Ibis -- to settle your debt). As in most Vegas horror stories, the big pot might very well have been the beginning of the end for the White Sox skipper.
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