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Miguel Cairo Hits Grand Slam Off Cubs; Embarrasses Chicago, Especially John Grabow

Last night the Cubs lost their eighth straight game (I'm still waiting for cheap beer deals celebrating this achievement). The loss was cemented in the most red-faced, change-the-channel-the-nerdy-boy-just-told-the-popular-girl-he-likes-her-in-front-of-her-football-playing-boyfriend embarrassing scenario feasible -- Miguel Cairo hit a grand slam off of Chicago's John Grabow.

This is the same Miguel Cairo that started his career in 1996. The same Miguel Cairo that hasn't played anywhere close to 150 games since 1998. The same Miguel Cairo that boasts 34 career home runs in 4066 plate appearances (Joey Votto has 98 in 2146). The same Miguel Cairo that has a career OPS+ of 78. The same Miguel Cairo that is 37-years-old. The same Miguel Cairo that has played for nine different franchises. The same Miguel Cairo that *IS* Miguel Cairo.

This is what the Cubs 2011 season has come to.

To quote the awful Rick Morrissey in a failed attempt at bashing statistical analysis in baseball -- in this case, universally used stats like OBP and OPS -- "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da". Except I mean what it actually means.

Twitter @ZWMartin