It's Always Horny In Chicago
and Danny DeVito as "Frank"
Bulls legend Michael Jordan's Sex Fest through the United States is well documented. From New York to LA, father Jordan sowed his way through the Americas like Johnny Appleseed. Well, it appears, the apple did not fall from the boner tree. On Wednesday, Marcus Jordan got to it as well, accidentally tweeting to his 35,000ish followers the following message instead of DMing porn star Rachel Roxxx directly. (The extra two xx's are a tribute to everyone's favorite English indie band, The xx, natch. That may be wrong.)
Lets break this down:
- Marcus and Rachel have already boned once.
- Marcus was apparently Rachel's first black guy. (I'm not sure I believe that. The things our muses say to us to make us feel special.)
- Marcus paid for the sex.
- Marcus' grammar is shitty.
- Rachel is "29". My deceased grandfather was 39 for 40 years. So, yeah, maybe.
- Marcus is 21. I know this because I was at the table over from him for his 21st birthday party at Paris Club.
- Rachel looks like this. Marcus looks like this.
- Who sends sex DMs at 9:53 a.m. on a Wednesday anyway? Get a job, son. /Waves clenched fist from porch