I kid, I kid -- but it's, uh, not great.
But yeah, everyone's favorite/completely maligned Chicago Bulls starting power forward, Carlos Boozer, dropped a new song which apparently debuted at the UC on Wednesday.
Need to know info...
Song Title: "Winning Streak"
Cameos: Twista, Mario Winans
Level Of Quality: ...
Would you mind if I wrote out Carlos' entire verse, again? I mean, if I transcribe it, you don't actually have to listen to it. You don't mind? Aright, cool. (After the jump...)
Boozer V1:
Mic check 1-2, 1-2 (4x)
Dream it, believe it, do it, let's go
Already know I cross 'em over, take 'em to the hole
Look back, thank God, look forward, trust God,
That's why when I'm in that paint, you know I go hard
Might go baseline, one time, and abuse ya
Run back down the court, like "You know it was Boozer!"
I used to be another little fella with some hoop dreams,
Now I got the game laced up, shoe strings.
The bravado and willingness to put himself out there is good, but there's certainly a lot more to be desired. Though I did particularly enjoy how, in the last line of his verse, he has a reference within the line that he blatantly explains at the end of the line (laced up = shoe strings). That's actually in the style of Lil Wayne ("I got stripes, Adidas") and Drake ("Swimmin' in the money, come and find me, Nemo") -- and those guys are about as famous as it gets, rap-wise.
While we're on the subject, there's one huge misconception about sports hip-hop that I'd like to clear up: Shaquille O'Neal was not a bad rapper. I'm serious. Listen to his song "You Can't Stop The Reign," which also features one of the all time greatest rappers, The Notorious B.I.G.
While I get why one would *think* Shaq would be bad at rap -- as it's something I thought pretty much my whole life without actually taking the time to listen to him -- it's just not true. His flow is way higher than his actual talking voice. I mean, imagine if he rapped like this. That'd be bad. But he doesn't... it's lighter and more playful, which makes it totally passable.
Another funny thing about Shaq's rapping is he raps about things typical rappers use as metaphors. For example, Jay-Z (the greatest rapper of all-time, in my not humble opinion) has a line in his song "Hola Hovito" that says:
I ball for real, y'all n****** is Sam Bowie
And with the third pick, I made the earth sick
M.J., hem Jay, fade away, perfect
Meanwhile, Shaq has raps about being the actual No. 1 pick in his legendary song "What's Up Doc? (Can We Rock)":
Forget Tony Danza, I'm the boss
When it comes to money, I'm like Dick Butkus
Now who's the first pick? Me, word is born and
Not a Christian Laettner, not Alonzo Mourning
So in the battle for credibility -- which is always half the battle in the hip-hop genre -- Shaq actually takes this one against the greatest of all-time.
But I digress.
Anyway, I commend Booz's effort, energy, and clear affection for the genre, but this song gets a thumbs down for me. Not hating, just rating.
Oh, and if you still want to hear Boozer's song...
If it even needed to be said, the Chicago Bulls are 0-1 since its debut.
I think everyone's work here is done.
Twitter: @bobbystompy