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Jay Cutler And Brandon Marshall Are Jerks, Says World's Dumbest Article

I don't know who CBS Sports' Mike Freeman is, and while his title of National NFL Insider commands the respect of a Peter King, his writing and ideas command the respect of Mitch Albom. That is to say, he wrote a really bad and poorly executed article this Sunday.

In it, the CBS writer pegs Chicago Bears Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall as the No. 8 and No. 5 biggest jerks in the NFL, respectively. I'd love to delve into why this is a stupid-stupid dumb-dumb list, after the jump.

(Jump)

First, let's start with Kid Cutty. Freeman sez:

If ever there was a jerk face prototype, it would be Cutler. Plays the part well with the best smirk in the NFL.

Ah, the "I hate his face" argument. He continues...

His defenders say he's not so jerkish -- that his reactions are more because he despises the media. Yes, jerks are always misunderstood. I actually believe Cutler is maturing and one day will break free of his jerk chains, but for the moment, there's this NSFW moment.

So, to recap: he doesn't like Cutler's face, thinks he'll mature out of being a jerk, but isn't a fan of him flipping off the always hateable paparazzi. In conclusion, nothing was accomplished here.

Let's move on to Brandon Marshall. The start:

Multiple accusations of woman beating but no convictions.

Just... just... like, seriously? What a god damn reach.

The finish:

One of the most talented wide receivers in football who was run out of Denver, run out of Miami and, if his jerk chromosomes kick in again (and they will), he'll be gone from Chicago in the near future, too.

Jerk chromosomes? Freeman, you ain't even my level.

And just to make this list even more 2010, Michael Vick takes the top spot, simply because Freeman can't forgive him for the dog stuff (fair) but may forgive him in the future (what?).

For posterity, Freeman ends the column with a "Good Guys" list that includes bozos like Tim Tebow, the always super questionable DeMaurice Smith, and the hot head crazy Super Bowl champion coach himself, Tom Coughlin. Oh, and Chad Ochocinco.

Sure, he's a little foul-mouthed on Twitter, and yes, he was once a showboat, but he was, and is, harmless. He's also, secretly, an incredibly solid person and goes out of his way to make people think he's not.

So today's lesson is this: you can be foul-mouthed on Twitter and a showboat, but if you're a secretly good person, all is fine and dandy. But if you flip off the media, you should probably be sentenced to death.

What drivel.

(via WCG)

Bobby Loesch is a weekly contributor to SBN Chicago. He can be reached at bobbyloesch [at] gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy.