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'The Wreck Of The Lions Of Detroit' - A Season In Song

A loving tribute to the perennial cellar-dwellers of the NFC North, to the tune of 'The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald'.

Old Michigan's got two of the Big Ten,

and the Red Wings, the darlings of Detroit.

But in the NFL, at the bottom they dwell

They're ashamed from Ypsilanti to Beloit


The Lions as they're known, call Ford Field their home

Host to a Super Bowl and Bruce Springsteen.

And in 2008, gave in like a prom date

when they finished the year oh and sixteen


In 2009, they remained in decline

Though number one draft picks they did tout

They went two and fourteen, though at home rarely seen,

as most games were subject to blackouts.


The following year, it began with good cheer

When they drafted the beast, Ndamukong Suh

They sallied forth, for an NFC North

meeting with the Chicago Bears, a duel.


Their back was named Best and their QB felt blessed,

as they stepped out that day in September.

But they cried in alarm, when Matt fell on his arm

and was injured by Julius Peppers.


They called on Shaun Hill, for Stafford's shoes to fill

in this battlefield south of Wisconsin.

With time almost gone, towards the end zone looked Shaun

and heaved a pass to Calvin Johnson


He pulled the ball in, thought he caused them to win

and jumped up towards the camera to showboat

The ball at his feet, meant the pass incomplete 

And Calvin was no hero, but a goat.


The rest of their games all went much the same

 and the losses piled up like seasons past.

And those who are true to the silver and blue,

got used to their team being dead last.


And this Sunday they'll come, to the Lions' stadium

to watch the rematch of that first game.

They'll be in their cups, but won't get their hopes up

Because for Detroit it always ends up the same.


Year after year, as they cry in their beer

Bears, Vikings, and Packers they'll slander.

For they've had no fun, when it's all said and done

since the retirement of old Barry Sanders