Last week, I used random.org's list generator and its true random number generator to sort the teams playing in a random order, then generate random numbers to match with each team name as a score prediction.
The random numbers didn't do very well -- they went 5-8 in the 13 games, and picked some ridiculous results and high scores. No, I didn't really expect the Vikings to beat the Patriots 44-12, although if the two teams had been reversed in the random list, that wouldn't have been too far off.
Three games the random generators "picked" last week, though, came pretty close to reality:
Prediction: Chargers 41, Titans 23. Actual: Chargers 33, Titans 25
Prediction: Buccaneers 38, Cardinals 23. Actual: Buccaneers 38, Chargers 35
Prediction: Raiders 36, Seahawks 12. Actual: Raiders 33, Seahawks 3
Well! That's closer than some people get who, you know, actually analyze football players and statistics all week and make informed picks. So, SB Nation Chicago cheerfully presents the Random Number NFL Picks for Week 9. I used the yahoo.com Week 9 scoreboard and wrote the teams down in the order they appeared there. Then I randomly generated a list of team names, and used the random number generator to create "scores". Since there was a shutout last week (the Packers over the Jets ; somehow, the teams didn't like my Jets 39, Packers 34 prediction -- you'd think they'd have liked to score more points), I increased the number range to be 0-44, since 44 is the highest number of points scored by anyone this year except for the outlier 59 scored by the Raiders a couple of weeks ago. One more caveat: without regard to where each team was in the order on the list, if a random number came up that was an unlikely football score ("4" was a popular choice this week), I threw it out and generated another one.
That's way too much introductory material, but now that you're with the program, here are the Official SB Nation Chicago Random Number NFL Week 9 Picks (home team listed on bottom):
Chargers 31
Texans 17
Cardinals 27
Vikings 35
Saints 6
Panthers 19
Patriots 23
Browns 3
Buccaneers 0
Falcons 19
Bears 42
Bills 21
Ravens 22
Dolphins 28
Jets 42
Lions 16
Giants 30
Seahawks 14
Colts 26
Eagles 16
Chiefs 14
Raiders 24
Cowboys 0
Packers 38
Steelers 23
Bengals 32
Clearly, some of these are patently ridiculous (six touchdowns for the Bears? The Bears have scored six touchdowns in the last three games combined). But others... look eerily prescient -- the Cowboys could easily lose that badly to the Packers; the Colts score is realistic, and though the Chiefs got off to a good start, the Raiders are hot right now.
Have fun with these. SB Nation Chicago is not responsible for actual money you might lose making legal wagers with these picks.