So Michigan is dead.
I'd delve into the game and even remotely try to break it down if it wasn't exactly what we all expected: a borderline NFL team dismantling a bunch of amateurs. I said my 'best case' was Michigan losing by three touchdowns and no key guys getting hurt. Well, they lost by about four touchdowns and multiple key guys got hurt. So that really sucked.
A few takeaways...
- Not sure if this was a point made by Herbstreit or just discussed by Herbstreit, but it's a big point to remember: this victory was not a SEC > Big Ten statement. This was an Alabama > The rest of college football statement. The Tide should be undisputed No. 1 in the polls until further notice, and they thankfully are.
- Dallas still looks like a tremendous place to watch a game. Bloodbaths probably excluded, though.
- I'm rolling with MGoBlog's official stance: "Me, I say that whenever you can get less money to play thousands of miles from campus against a team that's signed an extra recruiting class of players over the last five years without getting a home game in return, you have to do it."
- Alabama was playing a 5-star RB (Dee Hurt, who spurned Michigan this off-season) on kickoff coverage. Did he blow up a guy? Of course. So excessive, yet amazing.
- Did I wander around outside after the game rambling to myself about "YOLO"? Yes.
And, lastly, I wanted to delve into some of the comments made by Michigan State players during the game. First: the words.
Throughout the course of the game, Michigan State players chimed in on Robinson's play. While most of the tweets have been deleted, Mlive.com managed to grab them before they disappeared:
"Is this guy really a QB I'll say my mans (walk-on Tommy Vento) is a better QB lol," linebacker Denicos Allen tweeted. "S/O to my boy vento by the way."
"DENARD IS SOOOO BAD!" safety Kyle Artinian tweeted. "And it makes me feel so good."
"I can play quarterback for the school in blue," linebacker Jamal Lyles tweeted. "(Le'Veon Bell) for heisman > the other guy in the great state of michigan."
And when Robinson found Jeremy Gallon on a 71-yard reception?
"Even a blind squirrel can get a nut ever once in a while...," running back Nick Hill tweeted.
The supreme 'hater'-ness of all of the above is undeniable. It's not even like Denard is a Philip Rivers-type with a history of pissing people off. He seems like a good, affable dude. It's one thing to be dismissive, but the way they did it felt so weird. And, of course, not even giving dap to the touchdowns was just petty.
To Michigan State head coach Mark Dantonio's credit, he addressed the 'scandal' head-on.
"Michigan has a storied tradition. I didn't see much different when we played the University of Alabama a couple of years ago. It is tough. Our guys need to keep their mouths shut. Is that blunt enough? Especially those that aren't even playing."
Man, that call out had everything. Respecting Michigan slightly, calling out his school for sucking against Alabama in the past, and calling out his own players for being too shitty to even be commenting on this. Dantonio, I've hated you at times, but you have earned a lot of respect in my book.
As for a Denard response? Nothing.
"I heard about it but I don't think about it," said Robinson, who is 0-3 in his career against the Spartans. "I'm not even worried about that right now."
Michigan head coach Brady Hoke couldn't be reached for comment and was last seen rolling around in a gutter, muttering "That obviously was not Michigan football" repeatedly. We may have hung out together last Saturday.
As for former Michigan State basketball player Delvon Roe?
Michigan is getting Raped right now. I bet Jerry Sandusky is proud lol#ROLLTIDE
I'm not going to end this with the played out "Stay classy, [Rival Team]", but that's seriously how I want to end this. The amount of Sandusky 'humor' in Week 1 -- not just from MSU, but all throughout college football -- was very discouraging.
Quick, Selective Hits On The BCS Top 25
1. Alabama (45): This feels like one of those seasons where we need to have the championship game right now (and I'm not just biased-ly saying that because my favorite team got knocked out with one, hard punch). Alabama's defense is only going to get better, and sure, they might have one or two tests in the SEC, but I'd much rather just see them play the Ducks or Trojans right now. Somehow, this will get screwed up.
2. USC (11): I don't think anything juxtaposed the black cloud that is my college football fandom with the glory of USC more than Matt Barkley's first touchdown pass of the year. It was either pre-Michigan suffering or during the horrible first quarter, but they cut in to the USC game, and it was just an easy, immediate touchdown flanked by Song Girls, sunshine, and happy people. It felt like a different sport. I hope they continue to improve from here.
Also: the Rice band joins the short list of teams we can no longer support.
3. LSU (4): Has a Top 3 team ever felt so under the radar? And how much of that has to do with no Honey Badger?
4. Oregon: So far, so good for our new QB1. Granted, the first true test will come against stiffer competition. But still, I was happy to see his debut a success.
Three additional "O" items...
1) Our new Oregon QB uses just one one strip of eye black. If Tebow did this, I'd hate it, but because it's Oregon, I probably love it. Though I'm not biased enough to say he doesn't look totally bro-y in that picture.
2) This Spencer Hall tweet hopefully sums up where Oregon's season is going.
Oregon just went for it on 4th and goal up 43-3. They are now, of course, up 50-3 with six minutes left in the 2nd.— edsbs (@edsbs) September 2, 2012
/drool drool drool
3) Though I'm in the bag for almost anything Oregon related, I didn't think this "Oregon highlights set to Spanish announcing" video was as good as originally expected. Hey, maybe you'll like it.
6. Florida St.: They keep losing guys, and that's so unfair. We might have to give Herbstreit a mulligan on that national title prediction.
8. Arkansas: Damn, I totally forgot to comment on Petrino getting fired! As a typical defender of asshole coaches, I've always had a real not soft spot for Petrino, who always seemed like a scumbag's scumbag. Drew linked to this picture last week, and it felt as great as ever.
9. West Virginia: WFV put up 69 -- ha! -- as they registered their highest Week 1 point total in school history. Our Heisman contender Geno Smith threw for 4 TDs and rushed for one, and it kinda feels like it shoulda been even more.
9. South Carolina: Props on an interesting game, no props on playing down to competition. People calling this team a darkhorse in the pre-season have to already be worried about that claim.
11. Michigan St.: If you thought MSU was going to rebound from the Twitter thing by *not* making victory t-shirts for a game they were expected to win, you were wrong. What a bunch of clods.
12. Clemson: I want everybody to watch all of this video, the first 1:18 of this video, or the first 15 seconds of this video. His name is Clemson Tom, and he is awesome.
I don't know if my favorite part is 'pure country', signing the cast, or everything in general, but who wouldn't want to grab a beer with this guy?
13. Wisconsin: Way to suck against UNI. This is going to be a somewhat different season than last year, me thinks.
14. Ohio St.: Braxton Miller had a colossal Week 1, almost single-handedly carrying my Big Ten fantasy team to victory (props to you as well, MSU Defense), but, more importantly, ESPN wrote this hilarious profile (I didn't read it) of Urban Meyer called "Urban Meyer Will Be Home For Dinner", and, in it, it's got a 'contract' his daughter made him sign. Now, remember, I'm not making fun of the daughter -- I'm making fun of Meyer for letting it get to this point with his family. The contract states:
Framed above his desk hung the contract he signed with his kids, written on pink notebook paper.
1. My family will always come first.
2. I will take care of myself and maintain good health.
3. I will go on a trip once a year with Nicki -- MINIMUM.
4. I will not go more than nine hours a day at the office.
5. I will sleep with my cellphone on silent.
6. I will continue to communicate daily with my kids.
7. I will trust God's plan and not be overanxious.
8. I will keep the lake house.
9. I will find a way to watch Nicki and Gigi play volleyball.
10. I will eat three meals a day.
BA-hahahahaha; what's item 11 say? "I will not coach big time college football"? This is truly amazing. If an opposing fan doesn't mock this on a sign at some point this season (GameDay kids, I'm looking at you), we've all failed badly.
And speaking of GameDay, Deadspin's GameDay Sign Recap was pure quality. The "I'm Asian" sign wins the week, but we'll link this here because of the third one they posted.
15. Virginia Tech: I love me some Georgia Tech helmets... yes, I know Va-Tech won.
16. Nebraska: T-Magic* throws for 5 TDs* as Nebraska hero Rex Burkhead gets dinged up with an early season injury.
* - Southern Miss
18. Oklahoma St.
19. Michigan: /sigh
21. Kansas St.: "Call Me Maybe" is now officially the 2012 song of the summer, according to Billboard. Not that we needed this announcement to cement what is clearly a fact, but it's still nice.
22. Notre Dame: I'd call out ND getting ranked, but they had a very impressive Week 1. Even better, I accidentally rooted for them on one of their scoring drives because them and Navy had similar uniforms and black QBs. Things started to shift when I saw a massive tight end haul in an impressive catch and thought "Navy could *never* recruit a guy like that ... wait ... damn it!!!"
24. Florida: Looked just awful in Week 1 and face an extremely realistic possibility of losing their next two games. Not even Urban Meyer's contract can save them now.
UCF at Ohio State (14): Does the Braxton/Urban uprising continue? (Probably.)
Miami (FL) at Kansas State (21): Damn, KSU is favored by seven in this one?
USC (2) vs. Syracuse: This game's at the New Meadlowlands, and you better believe the New York Post used this as a vehicle to take a shot at the Jets.
The second-ranked Trojans have more offensive stars than a certain NFL team that plays in MetLife.
Haha. This game feels unexpected and random. Worse? We're already into the early afternoon games. (Pray for the early slate.)
Michigan State (11) at Central Michigan: Small chance this is good as Michigan State travels *to* CMU, and my MSU coworker indicated they're adding a few thousand extra seats just for this game. At worst, could be a feisty environment.
Purdue at Notre Dame (22): Actually really love this game. Purdue, who the Big Ten writers seem to think have turned a corner, get an immediate road test against the Irish. Plus, if ND loses, they can just blame jet-lag. In all seriousness, I enjoy early games that help us sift through pretenders. The winner of this one definitely gets a notch of respect. Unless ND just rolls through Purdue because Purdue sucks. Come on, TerBush. Don't be a TerBush.
Florida (24) at Texas A&M: Ringing the death bells for Florida here. I mean, A&M has SEC Speed now, you know?
Indiana at Massachusetts: Why the hell would Indiana go to UMass.?! I'm not even going to try to rationalize (or research) this. I mean, they're an FCS team. Do the Hoosiers really just not care that much? I feel like their next move is to take the field wearing sweatpants and untucked jerseys.
Iowa State at Iowa: The rivalry where anything, at any time, is up for grabs. I don't know who is playing QB for Iowa State, but expect him to rush for 100 yards.
Wisconsin (13) at Oregon State: Is this our Game of the Week? Is this on FX? Is this at 3:00 p.m.? Is our Game of the Week on FX at 3 p.m.?
Fresno State at Oregon (4): Until the end of time. This game is aesthetic.
Washington at LSU (3): Game of the Week? Also, the Huskies are crazy.
Nebraska (16) at UCLA: Was gonna give this game the 'meh' label, but that was before I remembered the T-Magic Passing Train is still rolling. I, for one, am riding it until it crashes, because that's going to be glorious. T-Magic!
Georgia (7) at Missouri: Love Mizzou defensive tackle Sheldon Richardson's comments on Georgia.
"I turned [off the Georgia game], too," Richardson was quoted as saying. "… It’s like watching Big Ten football. It’s old-man football."
Pseudo bulletin board material? Check. Awesome? Check. Potshot at the Big Ten? Perfect.
Oklahoma State (17) at Arizona: Eh.
Duke at Stanford (25): White people!
* * *
And, lastly, due to some feedback last week -- and because I truly do consider myself a man of the people -- we have decided to bring back the "Random Picture I Came Across While Googling Stuff For This Post" section.
So yes, I think we'll give Game of the Week honors to Wisconsin. LSU-Washington is certainly prettier on paper, but I'd rather go with the one I trust to be more competitive.
Also remember: Week 2's early slate sucks, but the late afternoon/night schedule should be just fine. Seriously, USC-Syracuse is a real game. Happy hunting.
Bobby Loesch is a weekly contributor to SBN Chicago. He can be reached at bobbyloesch [at] gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter @bobbystompy.