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Brian Urlacher And Jenny McCarthy Break Up; Ruin Air And Water Show For Everyone

As you know, I've been on the Jenny McCarthy/Brian Urlacher beat since it was first announced they were together and all the way through that time McCarthy texted a nudy pic of herself to her son's dentist. I even went as far as to give them a power couple name I just made up five seconds ago: Brenny McLacher. Hmm. That sounds like a name some hipster single mom would totally name her kid. How about... Jian Urthy. Whatever. Moving on.

Well, today, it all ends. (Never forget.) It has been reported Chicago's First Couple has broken up. There are no words. Just Pouty Jay Cutler. Sad Jay Cutler. And Distraught Jay Cutler. Jay Cutler is really taking this hard. McCarthy's total B.S. statement following the jump.

"Brian and I have decided to turn our romance into an amazing friendship," McCarthy told People in a statement on Thursday. "I will continue to be the biggest cheerleader for him. Go, Bears!"


You know what Brian Urlacher's biggest cheerleader would do? Not break up with him after a knee surgery. Brian Urlacher's biggest fan would nurse her man back to health like -- I can do this! -- Kristin Cavallari nursed poor, broken down Jay Cutler. Jenny McCarthy, you can learn a thing or two from -- I am doing it! -- Kristin Cavallari.

Who knows, maybe Jim Carrey and McCarthy can get back together some time soon so he'll stop making shitty movies. One can only hope.

Twitter @ZWMartin