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Chicago Sports News: Toews Checks Small Child, Jordan Fined And Juan Francicso Hits 500-Foot Home Run Off Some Cubs Pitcher

Because I am rushed for time and not in the mood to write three separate stories, lets roundup some news from the Chicago sports scene. Today we cover Jonathan Toews gleefully (and accidentally) checking a very small child, Michael Jordan being fined for talking NBA lockout in Australia over a month ago and the farthest home run since 2008. Do I need to mention it was off Cubs pitcher, Rodrigo Lopez? I didn't think so. Videos and links following the jump.

Toews disembowels poor child; TV reporter makes light of disemboweled child

Listen to that little boy scream (and cry). LISTEN. Lance Brown of CTV News Toronto DOES NOT CARE. That is because Lance Brown of CTV News Toronto hates kids and America... BECAUSE HE'S CANADIAN.

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Michael Jordan retroactively fined for comments on lockout; calls Andrew Bogut a "star"

Deadspin did the snipping for me:

I can't say so much ... but I know the owners are not going to move off what we feel is very necessary for us to get a deal in place where we can co-exist as partners.

We need a lot of financial support throughout the league as well as revenue sharing to keep this business afloat.

We have stars like Bogut who are entitled to certain type of demands. But for us to be profitable in small markets, we have to be able to win ballgames and build a better basketball team....

I love Bogut's game. ...[H]e is a star to be reckoned with (and) will be a star for some time.'

I know, right? Andrew Bogut. Weird. Regardless, $100K seems overboard, even for the likes of David Stern. Not to mention this interview occurred almost a month ago... in Australia. Besides, when someone calls Andrew Bogut a "star," can you really take anything they say seriously?

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Juan Francisco of the [who cares] hit a ball that left a baseball park and traveled over 500-feet; Rodrigo Lopez is still pitching for the Cubs

Click the link. I can't get the video because the MLB has stupid rules about their video rights. In short, Lopez grooved a fastball low-and-in and Francisco hit it exactly 502-feet, the longest blast since 2008 when White Sox stud (tehehe) Adam Dunn hit one an insane 535-feet at Great American Ball Park for the Reds, as well.

Remember folks, Adam Dunn used to be good. Also, Juan Francisco has a fun name to say.

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Twitter @ZWMartin