Leave it to the Heckler to put all the breathless LeBron reporting in its place:
NBA superstar and prized free agent LeBron James announced Tuesday that he’ll be hosting a nationally televised one-hour press conference Thursday night in which he plans to announce he will not be signing with the Minnesota Timberwolves.
“After long, thoughtful consideration, I am sad to say I will not become a member of the T’Wolves,” said James when announcing the press conference, the first he will hold regarding each of the 29 teams with which he will not be signing a contract. “Minneapolis seems like a great place and all, but the winters are too damn cold. Plus they’re all crazy about Prince up there and, let’s be honest, he’s kind of weird.”
The sad part is, a lot of people will think the above actually happened.