New White Sox Hot Dog Expected To Kill Chicagoans By The Thousands

The Chicago White Sox are unveiling this homage to the American lifestyle Tuesday for the game against the Texas Rangers:

↵

Hawt_dawg__medium

↵

The so-called "Big Slugger" is a Texas invention (a notable absence of gasps fills the room) and is designed to serve four people. But what it really serves is a challenge to every ambitious son of George Washington who sees a thing sitting in a cardboard serving plate and thinks to himself, "That. I can eat that." And when his wife casts an oblique, pained glance at him, he will eat only more furiously thinking, "See, I need to eat all of this -- THAT'S HOW HUNGRY I AM!"

↵

Examine this diabetes heat map and see if you can guess the locations of places from which WE SHOULD NOT BE EXTRACTING AND REPLICATING RECIPES:

↵

Diabetes-belt_1_medium

↵

Yeah, maybe Chicago Style Pizza and Chicago Style Hotdogs are dangerous enough on their own without the infusion of a little Southern Spice (that spice you taste, by the way, is just the sensation your own arteries exploding).

Trending Discussions

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join SB Nation Chicago

You must be a member of SB Nation Chicago to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at SB Nation Chicago. You should read them.

Join SB Nation Chicago

You must be a member of SB Nation Chicago to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at SB Nation Chicago. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.