A loving tribute to the perennial cellar-dwellers of the NFC North, to the tune of 'The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald'.
Old Michigan's got two of the Big Ten,
and the Red Wings, the darlings of.
But in the NFL, at the bottom they dwell
They're ashamed from Ypsilanti to Beloit
The Lions as they're known, call Ford Field their home
Host to a Super Bowl and .
And in 2008, gave in like a prom date
when they finished the year oh and sixteen
In 2009, they remained in decline
Though number one draft picks they did tout
They went two and fourteen, though at home rarely seen,
as most games were subject to blackouts.
The following year, it began with good cheer
When they drafted the beast, Ndamukong Suh
They sallied forth, for an NFC North
meeting with the Chicago Bears, a duel.
Their back was named Best and their QB felt blessed,
as they stepped out that day in September.
But they cried in alarm, when Matt fell on his arm
and was injured by Julius Peppers.
They called on Shaun Hill, for Stafford's shoes to fill
in this battlefield south of Wisconsin.
With time almost gone, towards the end zone looked Shaun
and heaved a pass to Calvin Johnson.
He pulled the ball in, thought he caused them to win
and jumped up towards the camera to showboat
The ball at his feet, meant the pass incomplete
And Calvin was no hero, but a goat.
The rest of their games all went much the same
and the losses piled up like seasons past.
And those who are true to the silver and blue,
got used to their team being dead last.
And this Sunday they'll come, to the Lions' stadium
to watch the rematch of that first game.
They'll be in their cups, but won't get their hopes up
Because for Detroit it always ends up the same.
Year after year, as they cry in their beer
For they've had no fun, when it's all said and done
since the retirement of old Barry Sanders