SB Nation Chicago: All Posts by Zachary Lee

Bulls vs. Nets Playoffs Game 7: Joakim Noah and The View From The Top

2013-05-05T17:33:59Z

When I was 12 years old, I remember dying of dysentery just three days' ride from the victorious end of The Oregon Trail. I'd run out of bullets to hunt food; Maggie had drowned when I attempted to fjord the river; And I was down to my last wagon axle after trading my spare for salted pork. I am not ashamed to report that I cried right there in front of the school's Apple IIe, having come so close to winning in spite of such terrible luck. Only now do I realize that if I'd just named my character Tom, I probably would have won the damn thing with bullets to spare.

Say what you will about Tom Thibodeau, and whooeee is there a lot one could say if they were so inclined, but the Bulls collective performance last night says it all about a man that will one day be considered one of the greatest to ever pace the sidelines of an NBA game.

Homer-y Hyperbole? Yeah, sure. But then again maybe not. It is Thibodeau after all that is credited with introducing a style of defense to the game that has been copied ad nauseum, has altered offensive strategy across the league and yet still remains devastatingly effective. It is Thibodeau that, in his three years of eligibility, has won coach of the year once and been in the conversation the other two. It is Thibodeau who has reached his players in ways that only Phil Jackson and Greg Popovich have in the era of entitled NBA superstars. What Thibs is missing to be considered one of the great is time and hopefully a couple of rings. Whether or not his players die of dysentery before he gets there seems like the only thing that may stop the NBA's most driven personality. Despite his well-chronicled overuse of players, press conference clichés and injury report vagaries, the Chicago Bulls will be a team to be proud of as long as he loudly paces the sidelines.

***

I feel bad gushing as I'm about to. The truth is I had acquiesced to what I thought to be the Bulls likely fate. As a fan, I hoped for a painful season to mercifully end. It is one of those rare and beautiful moments in today's professional sports where realize that your team actually cares more than you do. To do that to an armchair quarterback of the highest order is no small feat. Nevertheless, there are no words that can be written today that can fully realize the impact and effort of the quite singular Joakim Noah. Count me among the many that watched with giddy surprise as he magically rediscovered his mobility and effectiveness. You kept waiting for him to grimace on a misstep, or land wrong and have the mirage of health vanish, as that is what Chicago has been conditioned to expect over the past decade of local sports. Instead, Jo put his team on his back in a way I haven't seen since the most famous play of his career.

You watch that clip now and marvel at how young Noah looks. Has he been a Bull that long already? Then the game situation dawns upon you. Game 6 of triple OT in an eventual Bulls win. A win that mattered little when the Bulls would go on the road for game 7 and be summarily dispatched by the Celtics. You realize that Noah must remember how that night, and all the ones like it, felt as he took the floor at Barclays Center Saturday. And it becomes a lot easier to understand why Noah stepped out front, grabbed the game by the throat, and led his team to victory.

To the rest of the notes from a SURLY Barclays Center on Saturday night:

- So, Teague can play. That's nice to know. He still runs around like a deer on acid, but to see a glimpse of effective minutes makes you think the future remains as bright as ever for the Bulls in the years to come. Gar Paxdorf wouldn't know a trade if it walked up and shook their hands, but their recent drafting record is beyond reproach.

- I feel bad for Brooklyn Nets fans. I really do. Billy King, who SOMEHOW got his contract extended last week, has assembled a capped-out team of overpaid players for the foreseeable future. It's a hard team to root for. One that found ways to crap the bed all season in games they had no business losing. It came back to bite them in the end, and now the lights are off at Barclays. Not often you hear the home team get booed during a game 7. It happened Saturday night. Also, special shouts to the guido'd up douches who put their hands on a Bulls fan's neck while he was at a urinal and asked if "he wanted to go to sleep". Yeesh.

- No one is happier to see this series end than Taj Gibson. Taj was as out of place as I've ever seen him in his professional career: Not entirely healthy, no real matchup to speak of on the Nets, and obviously low on confidence as a result. He has always played well against Miami, however. He may be the only one of us truly looking forward to the Bulls second round series.

- Get well soon wishes to Luol Deng and Kirk Hinrich. That Deng was attacked by internet slime prior to game 6 for being soft when he was actually hospitalized was as infuriating as it was unsurprising. Lu is one of the five toughest players in the NBA. Ask around.

- One could pass dap all around - Bellinelli, Robinson, even the forgotten Daquean Cook all had their moment - but c'mon, team win of the highest order, right? Wish as I might have for a difficult season to be over, it is a gift to get to watch a team that cares this much play at least four more games. Daps to you, Chicago Bulls, and shame on me. I'll ride this wagon train until the wheels fall off.

Bulls vs. Nets Playoffs Game 5: Notes From The Rafters At Barclays Center

2013-04-30T17:31:47Z

It's all my fault, you realize.

After taking Game 4 off to camp in the Catskills to reward a patient and understanding significant other - which naturally resulted in "the kind of game we only get a handful of times a decade" - I returned to Brooklyn for game five knowing the outcome before it even began.

That Kirk Hinrich - or as I've come to call him this year, Hurt Kinrich - would miss the contest with calf soreness after literally playing for an hour in game four was only the beginning. I looked on TiqIq (shout out!) for a ticket halfway through the day on Monday only to find that Nets fans were showing a significant lack of interest in an underperforming team on the brink of elimination. I rejoiced in my half-price seat to a Bulls playoff game, even as a familiar pang of fear arose somewhere from the recesses of my mind.

I left work promptly at six o'clock, knowing that the last time I tried to escape Manhattan for a 7 p.m. start at Barclays I ended up arriving halfway through a rousing edition of the national anthem, forcing me to hold an oversize beer to my chest until the caterwauling ceased ('Merica!). But of course on this occasion the D train ran fast and undelayed, cruising over the Manhattan Bridge in record time and dumping me out in front of the Barclays Center oculus with almost half an hour to spare. Awooga alarms echoed across my withered sports fan psyche.

I'm not superstitious until it behooves me to do so for the sake of entertainment and sanity. Ergo, rooting for Chicago sports. And with the result of game 4 due in large part to my complete absence (so I've told myself) and so many fortunate events unfolding before the tip-off for Game 5, I was in full pre-wince.

Truthfully, the Bulls were closer to winning the game than I ever thought possible, with the game neck-and-neck until the Nets finishing kick with four minutes left. There was too much for Chicago to overcome ultimately. Luol Deng and Carlos Boozer's below average scoring efforts combined with a pair of found money performances from the Nets' bench was enough by itself. That I sprinkled in my own bad juju was just the icing on a profoundly unappetizing cake.

To the rest of the notes:

- While it may serve to overstate the value of Kirk, the Bulls will have trouble winning another game unless he can come back and play effectively moving forward. Not only for his defensive presence against Deron Williams - who bounced back with a very solid 23 and 10 - but for how it allows the rest of the Bulls to play on both ends. Without Kirk, the Bulls have to cross match to hide Nate Robinson, who has to play extended minutes and cannot be the scoring burst off the bench Chicago so desperately needs. It also pushes Lu into an active defensive role on every possession, even going so far as to have Deng defend Williams in the game's deciding moments. The Bulls need Deng's offense to win, and since he never comes off the floor, he needs a few possessions to camp out on a Gerald Wallace or Reggie Evans in order to sustain his effectiveness on both ends. Kirk isn't an irreplaceable star, but his absence stretches the Bulls in ways they can ill afford.

- Along the same lines, Lu and Carlos Boozer cannot combine for 22 points if the Bulls intend to win with any regularity. Even with the solid offensive production of Jimmy Butler, who had his best playoff game to date and looked like a future starting 2 guard, Chicago must get at least 30 points from its two offensive centerpieces in order to stay afloat. In particular, eight shot attempts is not enough for Boozer, seeing as he has been the one player the Nets have had no answer for defensively. Especially in light of Boozer's defense (which was a special brand of 'feh' on Monday night), the Bulls must emphasize him on the other end.

- I take it all back on Luol needing to shoot more threes. He is 1-18 so far in this series. Long live the mid-range two pointer!

- Brook Lopez continues to be a beast on offense for which the Bulls have no answer, but his outlier-level rebounding performance along with a combined 21 points and 11 rebounds from bench afterthoughts Andray Blatche and Kris Humphries really spelled doom for the Bulls. Blatche in particular was a big problem down the stretch as the Nets pulled away in the fourth quarter with him on the floor in lieu of Evans.

- Taj Gibson remains somewhat unnoticeable in this series as he continues to recover from a badly sprained knee, but even if healthy there really isn't anyone on the Nets for him to guard. Lopez is too long, too big, and too skilled for Taj to have a shot, but even Blatche had great success bulling his way towards the basket with Taj helpless to stop him. Gibson is at his best contesting the weak side of the rim, swatting wings that dare make a run to the rim and even capably defending the perimeter off of switches and pick and rolls. Be it personnel, deployment or simply a matter of health, Taj has been a non-factor in this opening round series.

- Finally, there is this guy, who some call the dancing hipster and I just call extremely f*cking annoying. I fail to understand the joy in coming to each and every NBA game with the sole purpose of finding one's way onto the jumbotron via goofy dances and artificial fandom. Doesn't he know that true fans gripe about scoreboard malfunctions, shitty pick and roll defense and questionable ownership decisions? I'm sure this particular individual is a lovely guy whose parents love him dearly, and positivity is a beautiful thing. But after watching him derp-dance for the better part of an NBA season wearing the same neon shirt-over-personalized jersey and black rim glasses, I find myself wanting to steal a T-shirt gun, load it up at a nearby dog park and wait for him in the parking lot.

Maybe the Bulls should just win game 6 at the United Center and save me a really embarrassing legal episode. Let us pray.

Bulls vs. Nets Playoffs Game 3: Deron Williams struggles, Thibs winning coaching battle

2013-04-26T20:58:19Z

"No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly." - Oscar Wilde

I love basketball with all my heart. Equal parts calculation and improvisation, meritocracy and idiocracy, it is endlessly entertaining. And yet, even on the grandest of stages with the brightest of lights, there are times I cannot help but avert my eyes.

So it was over the last 5:46 of the 4th quarter of the Bulls 79-76 win, when Chicago mustered but two made free throws and somehow walked away with a 2-1 series lead. I have a friend who remains convinced of the former truth-now myth of NBA teams only playing defense in the playoffs, who texted as soon as the buzzer sounded to use this game as proof of his pet theory. No sir, the only thing this was an example of is the direction and height of the flames that are emitted from a dumpster fire of the highest order.

Homer that I am, a win still feels "good", but the rational among us must concede that 79 points should beat exactly zero playoff teams on any normal plane of existence. Thank god for the Nets. More and more I am convinced they are a gift from the basketball gods for a Bulls season filled with so much ugh.

Watching the Bulls try not to crap the bed while the Chicago Bears were on the clock in the NFL draft, not to mention all the filler sports on a dozen or so flat screens caused me to swivel my head around like the possessed watching a tennis match. I am proud/ashamed to announce that my neck is actually sore this morning. Sports!

To the notes:

- I read a well-penned article from The Brooklyn Game blog about Boozer's success being a positive for the Nets, that he should be encouraged to take more fadeaway shots as they take him out of position and put him off balance. The fact is, Boozer may be the most-accomplished fadeaway shooter playing in the NBA today. Once again the Nets had no answer for, quite literally, one of the only scoring threats currently wearing a jersey for the Chicago Bulls. PJ Carlesimo can't be asked to answer for the Nets' 1-25 shooting slump in the first half, but continuing to guard Boozer one-on-one makes less sense with every passing minute.

- Along the same lines, it should be noted that Thibs is absolutely kicking PJ's patoot. The Nets have a significant talent advantage and yet look like the lesser team. Thibs made adjustments after game one that the Nets have yet to figure out. This is why PJ continues to carry the interim tag and, just my guess, won't be back once the season concludes.

- Deng, likely having my read my previous notes lamenting his lack of presence behind the three point arc, attempted six threes Thursday night. Yayyyyy! (He made only one. Booooooo.) Lu's shot is fascinating. The ball either goes through the hoop while hardly disturbing the net, or CLANGS off the rim as loudly and jarringly as humanly possible. Either way his 21 points were crucial, and his third quarter stretch of absolutely owning Gerald Wallace kept the Nets far enough away to preserve victory.

- Deron Williams continues to struggle with his long distance shot, a development that is saving the Bulls time and again. Kirk Hinrich deserves some credit for playing solid defense and forcing Williams to his left hand and into help. But the Nets' star player had multiple open looks late and simply could not knock them down, eliciting many a WHEW from my area of the bar.

Prior to tip-off, my buddy asked who would win game three. I was reluctant to answer if only because of the schizophrenic nature of both of these teams. So, I predicted a split in Chicago, which means if the Bulls lose game four it's all my fault and I'm a giant b-hole.

But much like the Bulls, the Nets are a team that plays their best when written off, so the Bulls will need to score a hell of a lot more than 79 points to win on Saturday. Joe Johnson's injury limitations are evident at this point, and as such he remains a wild card moving forward. But Deron WIlliams will bounce back in a major way in game four. He feeds off of failure and doubt, just like me in my fledgling career in sportswriting.

Back to the UC on Saturday for game four with a chance to take a commanding lead in the series. Never would have guessed it after the Bulls' game one shellacking, but such is the power of Thibs Ball. My prediction?

Bulls vs. Nets playoffs Game 2: Notes From Brooklyn

2013-04-23T23:59:49Z

I'll admit that cynicism does creep in at times for me with this Bulls team. It's an emotion born in the primordial ooze of Reinsdorf skinflintery, nourished by mounting player injuries that lay in the wake of Thibs Ball, until it finally crawls on dry land and begins tweeting bitter, hateful things under the handle @rightfieldsucks. [I'll also take personal credit -yfbb]

This is my way of saying Mea Culpa for underestimating the grit/grind/sting/chutzpah/stones/drive/WHATEVER IT IS that does indeed reside within this Bulls team.

Jo was... well what can you say that hasn't already been said? He's the heart of the team and has been for years now. Point to Luol as the glue, and Rose as the superstar, but Jo is the anchor and is as indispensable as they come. Frankly I was shocked how effective he was, and by the fourth quarter I felt like he had played the majority of the contest. Such was his effect on the game.

It also tells me that if you want to know how the Bulls are going to perform on a given night, look to what I wrote two previews ago, before I was colored by a performance that caused me to write something caustically over reactive.

To the game notes:

- Now THIS is the Brooklyn offense I've seen all season, maybe even a little worse (credit to the Bulls for making it harder than usual). Iso Joe Johnson was in full effect, Gerald Wallace went back to his ghostly ways, and save for another solid bench performance from CJ Watson (who clearly took his release personally; it was a money thing, CJ!), the Nets offense consisted of Brook Lopez and a surprisingly off-his-game Deron Williams. Credit to the defensive adjustments by Thibs to cut off Williams' penetration at the cost of leaving Lopez open for long "jumpers" (even if he made four straight at one point). I vote we call that shot a "stander", because that's what it is. Anyways, without WIlliams breaking down the defense, the Nets become much more predictable and easier to defend. Williams is the engine of this team. When he was hurting the most early in the season is when the Nets struggled the most.

- There's nothing worse than the moment you realize those godforsaken inflatable bang sticks are being handed out in your section at an NBA game. I still can't hear out of my right ear. One day we'll hear about a man who choked a juvenile unconscious during a basketball game. You will all wonder what could have driven that lunatic to do such a thing. I will understand completely.

- Remember when Luol Deng regularly made three pointers? It seems like a lifetime ago, somehow, and his season statistics indicate he shot a percentage consistent with his career averages. It certainly doesn't feel that way though. Be it the two year old wrist injury that still hasn't been fixed or perhaps the lack of open looks caused by D-Rose's absence, Luol's shot is all kinds of broken right now.

- Take this for what it's worth, but a pair of Nets fans behind me had a long and detailed conversation on how they have no answer for Carlos Boozer. And it's true. Granted Boozer was off in the second half, but Reggie Evans cannot guard him at all. Evans can rebound like nobody else in the NBA right now, but therein ends his skillset. Booz must be an offensive focal point whenever he's in the game, or at least until PJ Carlesimo finally decides to bring the double team. Definitely something to watch moving forward.

- I've said it before and I'll say it again: Jimmy Butler is a big time minus on offense right now. It bears mentioning that there aren't better options on the team to replace him, what with Marco inducing groans and Rip making them himself while wearing a heat pack on his back. But Jimmy is hesitating every time he has the ball, eschewing open driving lanes and available passes while the Nets defense recovers, and then either passing out beyond the three point line to a covered man or shooting long stand still jumpers. Guarding Jimmy much of the game was Joe Johnson, he of the questionable mobility due to his own bout with plantar fasciitis. If Butler would even appear to be a dribble-drive threat, or create some motion off the ball, the Bulls offense would benefit immensely. And since I just burned 200 words ripping him to shreds, let it be said that Jimmy's perimeter defense was spectacular, as per usual.

- How about them 3rd quarter Nets?! Granted I'm probably writing this because I was finally right about something and YOU need to hear about it, but in a game the Nets struggled to find consistent offense throughout, the 3rd quarter was downright putrid.

- To the teenage girls who squealed with delight whenever Kris Humphries did anything, including inbound the ball, I just... help me understand. Is it a Kardashian thing? Does Ray J have a legion of tweens following his every move?

- Off to the United Center, where this series gets exactly 0% easier. The Nets, perhaps because they've still getting used to their new digs, are just as good on the road, and possibly better, than they are at home. Fun times from Brooklyn, though. See you back here for Game 5.

Bulls vs. Nets playoffs Game 1: Brooklyn's atmosphere and execution

2013-04-21T19:15:46Z

Well that was a lot of fun. After talking myself, and possibly you, into the Bulls' chances for the better part of a week, the playoff spotlight came on and what we witnessed was an outclassing of the highest order. Safe to say that this is the best the Nets played the entire year, with dominant star play, fluid offense and contributions up and down the lineup. Nets fans looked liked someone who steps to a blackjack table for the first time and simply cannot lose. "Oh this game is so easy! Yay! Did we do good again?! Double yay! *flushed cheeks, giddy laughs*

Such is the way when a team plays lights out in its first playoff game ever. It was a bit of a circus from the outset, with the Bulls playing the part of elephant crap sweeper. Here are my other game notes from the rafters at Barclays:

- Jerry Stackhouse sang the national anthem prior to the game, and I have to tell you that after a botched note in the opening stanza, Jerry belted it out like a damned Grammy award winner. And as if just to prove that God giveth and taketh away, Stack promptly went out and airballed his only three shots and fumbled a ball out of bounds. Thanks god.

- Deron Williams has looked better with every passing game this season, crescendoing Saturday night with a double pump reverse jam that sent the crowd into hysterics and caused me to make the Tim Allen "HUURRRRRR???" noise I promised myself I'd never make. If you subscribe to the Book of Simmons, you'll believe that the team with the best player wins a playoff series. Now I don't think that's necessarily true, but when the gap is this wide... well, eek.

- On offense, the Bulls seemed to respect the Nets defense way more than it deserved, making ineffectual dribbles on the perimeter and never really trying to get into the paint. Kirk Hinrich (if he's healthy) and Luol Deng need to lead the way here moving forward: at some point in the third quarter, I looked up at the scoreboard to see that Kirk and Lu had combined for a whopping two points, aka a DEUCE. That seemed appropriate given their collective level of play. But Jimmy Butler was especially disappointing. Not that he should be a #1 option, but he played with a hesitance the Bulls cannot afford on offense. If he and the rest of the Bulls would have dared to dribble inside they might have discovered the Olé! defense that has plagued Brooklyn so often this season.

- YFBB mentioned it in his spectacular recap, but the Bulls may not have an answer for Brook Lopez's offensive game. Boozer is Boozer, but also way to small to really have a fair shot at guarding him; Taj is an amazing shot blocker and defender, but cannot anchor in the paint; and Noah is... really effing hurt. Nazr Mohammed seems like the only semi-viable option, and by my memory he was never in the game until it was way out of hand (so, like, three minutes into the game). More than Williams' dominant play, a lack of answers for Lopez could spell doom for Chicago.

- Here's me for every living second that Joakim Noah was on the floor: :-((((((((((((((((((((((. Meanwhile, Joe Johnson, who suffered from significant plantar fasciitis from about mid-season on and was appropriately rested, looked fresh as a daisy. Thibs must re-evaluate his ways this offseason. Must.

- Johnson and Gerald Wallace contributed more than they have in months, to say nothing of solid bench points from CJ Watson and Andray Blatche. I'm not a betting man (okay I am) but I do not see that happening all series long. Look, the Nets played their absolute best game. I think we all knew that if that happened the Bulls wouldn't have a shot, especially on the road. They'll do what they do which is to regroup, make some changes, and hopefully figure out how to frustrate the Nets into some of their bad habits moving forward. It is the only way the Bulls can win.

- At halftime, the Nets trotted out John Legend for a live performance of his Brooklyn anthem that is used for pre-game introductions. Besides 90% of the crowd out of their seats getting concessions, the sound consisted of some guy on a Mac laptop who made the fun mistake of turning up the volume while it was plugged into the PA system, resulting in a stadium-wide boop boop boop boop! To boot, I have heard better mixes on Fisher-Price tape recorders, and it was clear Legend had too. After frown-singing his way through two verses, he couldn't "play" quickly enough and get the hell out of there. Score another point for Brooklyn's totally inept in-game entertainment team.

- Final note: Credit to Boozer and Nate for being the only Bulls that had any kind of impact offensively, so much so that I was willing to forgive their atrocious defense. That's how bad Chicago needs points right now.

See you for Game 2.

Bulls vs. Nets: Scouting report from Brooklyn by a Bulls homer

2013-04-19T17:16:54Z

[Big thanks to Zach for putting this together -yfbb]

I wish I could tell you that I bought season tickets to the Nets with the foresight that the Bulls would meet them in the first round of the playoffs, but that would be a very loud lie. Rather, a group of friends and I thought that seeing an NBA team open a new building might be fun, especially when said team promised concessions from local restaurants such as brisket banh mi.

Sure enough, it delivered. The stadium is beautiful, the food is delicious, the wifi is incredible, the t-shirt gun reaches the back row of the upper deck (!) and the Nets themselves... well, that's another story. Oh, the mascot too. The mascot makes you want to dent things.

Despite the outlay of approximately eleventy billion rubles, owner Mikhail Prokhorov's team remains inherently flawed and at times, a fairly unwatchable product. I can count the exciting Nets moments of the season on one hand and that's mostly because it usually had a cheeseburger in it. Whenever you feel like questioning Gar Heard (or whoever's actually doing the roster building in Chicago), remember that Billy King traded the 8th pick in the 2012 draft, aka Damian Lillard on a rookie wage scale, to pay Gerald Wallace $40 million over 4 years. Ouchies.

So what else have I learned?

PACE

A number of times this season, my friends and I have looked at each other during Nets games with the gaze one might make at an insurance seminar. This is for a couple of reasons. First, good hell do the Nets plod along. They "ran" the third slowest pace in the league, scored the second fewest fastbreak points and on the rare occasion they did push the ball, you ran into the other reason they are boring as hell: The Nets have zero finishers. Lopez moves (and sounds) not unlike Treebeard from LOTR, Reggie Evans literally cannot dunk (I've seen him miss four attempts this year alone), and Gerald Wallace has aged like he drank from the wrong Holy Grail during the offseason. There simply aren't any athletes that can run and finish at the rim on this team, a fact that pleases me greatly since it seems like uber-athletes eat the Bulls for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Prepare yourself to see many Nets possessions where at least four players have openings to the rim and annoyingly kick out so the next guy can have a chance to drive and kick some more. Then Joe Johnson gets the ball with three seconds left on the clock and shoots a fadeaway two with a foot on the line, which he somehow makes. Riveting stuff, I tell you.

BROOKLYN DEFENSE

The Nets are statistically average to slightly below average on defense, a grade confirmed by the eye test. Never, in more than a dozen games this season have I found myself saying "Woooeeee, they are TENACIOUS right now!" Granted that's a dumb thing to say, but great defense affects me so. The Nets make competent rotations and rebound well (The Reggie Evans Effect), but seldom get into passing lanes and never pressure ball handlers. That they commit the 4th fewest number of fouls in the NBA is offset by being 24th in points in the paint allowed (non-pace adjusted) and 26th in turnovers caused. The Bulls make you miss. The Nets hope you do.

HOW THEY SCORE

Where Brooklyn can burn you - and have done so increasingly well late in the season - is the Deron Williams/Brook Lopez combination. Lopez is a savant offensively - to say nothing of his amazing 1950's-style set shot he shoots off the glass - and if Joakim Noah can't play at least moderate minutes in this series, the Bulls could be in trouble. Against Nazr Mohammed in their last meeting, Lopez went 8/9 from the field in the first quarter and had Nazr doing the Jordan shrug, except he did it for being extremely not good. Williams, now healthy, looks as good as he has since those final years in Utah when he was in the conversation for best point guard alive along with ol' Derrick What's-His-Name. His last game against the Bulls he put up 30 and 10 and did so rather effortlessly. Joe Johnson, the Nets go-to scorer early in the season, has been extremely limited since a flare up of plantar fasciitis in his heel and has been an enigma in the Nets' offense ever since.

Besides the Deron/Lopez combo and late shot clock Iso-Joe, it's really a mixed bag. Some games Blatche will show up, although his coach recently said his conditioning was lacking, 81 games into the season. Wallace has struggled with a capital UGH all year. Teletovic can shoot but defends like he's looking for a place to go pee. Kris Humphries makes $12 million a year to wave a towel, but wow can he fling that sucker. Former Bull CJ Watson can still shoot the 3 but looks even less effective overall than his final year in Chicago. Jerry Stackhouse had a fun few games early on but is basically a coach wearing shorts. Team-wise, the Nets are top ten in the NBA in both 3-point shots attempted and made, as well as being 7th in free throws made, indicative of the aforementioned drive-and-kick offense. The only soft underbelly here is a 73% free throw percentage, good for 25th in the league. Hey, it's something, especially if the Bulls are playing from behind (which they likely will be).

JEKYLL AND HYDE

If I were Thibs, I would simply tell the Bulls to stay close and wait until the third quarter to make a move. No team gives it up in the third quarter like the Brooklyn Nets. You can set your watch to it. They will run out to tremendous leads (second in NBA in 1st quarter scoring margin), have a Gatorade at the break, and promptly decide to give it right back (25th in 3rd quarter scoring margin). The reason is simple and helps explain why the Bulls have had such success against a vastly superior offensive club: When the Nets offense breaks down, it cartwheels off a cliff in a ball of flames. The ball stops moving side to side which plays right into the strong-side defensive schemes Thibs is credited with proliferating in the NBA (1st in opponents' assists per game). And with complementary players like Keith Bogans (sorry Bogey), Wallace (canNOT shoot), Andray Blatche (burp) and Marshon Brooks (What is the opposite of taking the leap? The fall? Marshon took the fall this year), Brooklyn doesn't have enough individual talent to compensate for all that ball-stopping. Especially with Johnson injured, when the Nets get outside of their bread and butter sets, there is no plan B.

PREDICTION

This series is going seven. All four contests have been close so far this year, the Nets can't hold onto a lead and the Bulls won't stop grinding until we're all dead (Lu first). The relative health of Noah and Johnson will likely decide the outcome, but I'm picking the Bulls because their home court advantage far outweighs that of the Nets. Barclays crowds, at least so far, have been novelty-seekers, hipsters, Knicks fans trying to make the switch, corporate sponsors and enemy spies like me. That's like asking a fart to lift you up.

Bulls win in 7 games

Martellus Bennett brings big personality to Chicago Bears

2013-03-13T14:16:32Z

Remarkable as it may be, that the Bears swooped in at the beginning of free agency to sign a prototypical modern tight end entering the prime of his career is an afterthought to me today. That is because the 6'5", 265 pound block of muscle in question is one Martellus Bennett.

aka the Black Unicorn.

aka Clark Kent (or Superman, if you're the lucky bastard Bennett saved from a ghastly fall.)

aka @JoeGryffindor, his additively entertaining twitter alias.

Drink gleefully this evening Chicago, because with the departure of Arian Foster from the Twittersphere the Bears new starting tight end doubles as the most interesting man in the NFL.

His feed ranges from the hilarious:

I'm still up being awesome at the crib. I should save some awesomeness for later today but I'm pretty sure I'll have more.
— Martellus Bennett (@JoeGryffindor) February 26, 2013

I enjoy watching crappy movies because they make my dream of writing and directing movies seem very realistic.
— Martellus Bennett (@JoeGryffindor) February 12, 2013

To the progressive:

There's def at least one or 2 gay guys on every team. Who cares?! If someone can play ball let em play.
— Martellus Bennett (@JoeGryffindor) January 31, 2013

To the profound

I've been accomplishing my impossibles for a while. Join me as we prepare for our tomorrows. Be great and don't be surprised by it.
— Martellus Bennett (@JoeGryffindor) February 24, 2013

He openly loves Harry Potter (hence his handle). Things that are exciting are "wavy". Occasionally they are mad wavy. He adores his wife Siggi the way we all aspire to love our better half. He speaks out loud about bettering himself and then jokes about leading a Pokemon army in the next sentence. He considered naming his new giant schnauzer Norris Chuck, Zero (from A Nightmare Before Christmas), Simba and Triton before settling on Sebastian Janikowski, aka Seabass. Bennett is the rare professional athlete that goes beyond rising and grinding. He offers hilarity, profundity and originality in ways uncommon to the average man, let alone the NFL stereotype. Chicago, you are going to love this guy.

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I remember seeing Bennett struggle as a rookie with the methods of an overbearing and humorless positional coach in Dallas during the team's second run on HBO's Hard Knocks. He seemed arrogant, dismissive, cocky, basically all the things you don't want in a rookie player. He was easy to label, and so I did. Malcontent, immature, probably won't fulfill his talent. Turns out, he was an extremely bright and thoughtful guy rolling his eyes at the simple-minded approach being employed by a superior. Complexity is easily misunderstood, sometimes even by the person who possesses it.

When I was 27, I got laid off from a job because I had a habit of being combative. Right or wrong, I believed my ideas were really good and I had a hard time listening to people that didn't agree with my takes. And so, I made it difficult to get work done. Great ability, great potential, and an absolute struggle to work with. When budget cuts came to the company, I had no one to protect me. And so I found myself on the street. It humbled me, it made me resolve to change my ways and I came to see it as a turning point in my career. I rededicated myself to listening more, improving myself and being a pleasure to work with. I'm forever better for it professionally and personally. Basically, I quickly judged a football player a malcontent for doing the exact same thing I had been guilty of. Projection's a bitch.

Perhaps this is why I'm so excited for the Martellus Bennett experience in Chicago. He reminds me of myself, and at the risk of sounding like a braggart it's been a pretty great run since I got the heave ho six years ago and started changing my life. My gut says Bennett is in a similar place, and he joins the Bears at the ideal time for both parties. Besides being the perfect signing for a team starved for playmakers at his position, Bennett is set to have the biggest years of his career in the Windy City. But just as importantly, a unique and vibrant personality is coming to a team that once celebrated that kind of individual flair in its football players. It is the great fortune of the Bears that Bennett's uncommon persona scared off more conventional thinkers. With the support of an organization behind him and the humility that only comes with experience, Bennett is poised to re-launch his career, and entertain the hell out of us in the process.

It is also worth noting that with Brandon Marshall and Bennett in the fold - and make no mistake it was Marshall who helped recruit the Bears' new tight end - it is clear that Emery has a talent for finding players that may be undervalued merely for being misunderstood. And whether a conscious decision or not, it is a stroke of genius to build a roster with the understanding that the Bears can afford to take a few character risks on players that might benefit from joining a team with a strong locker room. In that one way, the Bears are dealing from a position of strength in a sport where any and every advantage must be pursued and exploited on an otherwise level playing field.

Along with the reported signing of left tackle Jermon Bushrod from New Orleans to rejoin offensive coordinator Aaron Kromer, the Bears made two of the smartest moves in the NFL on a day when the franchise has historically struggled just to keep pace with the rest of the league. Laughingstocks no more, Phil Emery is leading the Bears' front office into uncharted competent waters, and the team seems all but certain to follow in the years to come.

Bring on the Joe Gryffindor experience.

Follow Zach Lee on Twitter.

Brooklyn Nets should thrive in new environment, Atlanta Hawks might surprise (NBA preview)

2012-10-22T12:30:05Z

Nets

Sitting in Barclay Center for the first time a few nights ago, you could see the lift the Nets will get from their move to Brooklyn. The stadium is state-of-the-art and brand spanking new. Free wi-fi, amazing food (Cuban pressed pork sandwich? A-YES PLEASE), but more than that, every fan was giddy to be there. Nobody minded waiting in lines. Ushers were preternaturally friendly. Brooklyn has a new car, and the smell alone has a WAR of 5.7.

On the court itself, the Nets are an interesting bunch. Forget what you remember about that team that played in New Jersey. Big names abound, but hearing how long some of them had been in the NBA stunned me. Joe Johnson? He's good! Holy crap it's his 12th year? Gerald Wallace's too? Jerry Stackhouse is on this team?! He was drafted the same year as Big Country Reeves and was an ESPN analyst last year, for cripes' sake.

Still, any team led by Deron Williams raises an eyebrow, and with Johnson and Wallace in the fold and Brook Lopez back from injury, the Nets are almost certainly a playoff team and if things go well, potentially a top-4 in the East. The bench will entertain the internet on a daily basis, as Andray Blatche and Tyshawn Taylor take turns auditioning for the next season of "That's So JaVale". Former Mr. Kardashian Kris Humphries is back, and free agent additions CJ Watson, Reggie Evans, Josh Childress, Keith Bogans, Tornike Shengelia, *HUGE BREATH* and Mirza Teletovic fill out the roster. How excited do you think NBA agents were this summer when Billy King's number came up on caller ID?

For all the shiny newness however, an adjustment period is to be expected, and the Nets' play has reflected that thus far in the preseason. Save for Deron bringing the ball up the court, no one seems to know where to be or what to anticipate, and coach Avery Johnson has his work cut out to bring a team of new faces together in a hurry. Ownership has spent a mint to build this roster, and if the Nets falter it'll be Avery who pays the price.

It matters little for now, though. As long as the Brooklyn Nets don't careen off the highway in their slick new ride, 2012-13 should be a honeymoon of sorts in the borough that sports forgot.

Prediction: 49 - 33

Hawks

The last time we saw the Hawks they were on their way to yet another early playoff exit, a result as predictable as rush hour traffic on a Friday afternoon. For the fifth straight year, the bridesmaids of the NBA lost in the first two rounds of the playoffs, despite an inarguably talented roster and years of continuity.

Ownership finally had enough this offseason and made the decision to break up this meagernaut, Gone are Marvin Williams - who had nearly played himself out of a job anyways - and ISO Joe Johnson, a player so overpaid that even Rashard Lewis was impressed. Johnson was a focal point of the Hawks' attack and an incredible talent, but his game had become somewhat obsolete in a league that allows zone defenses and calls the hand check. While other teams adjusted to the new rules by emphasizing ball movement and a more European drive-and-kick style, Johnson and the rest of the Hawks often fell victim to the ball-stopping isolation offense that nearly bored NBA fans to death at the turn of the millennium.

It's an over-simplification of sorts, but Atlanta was a team of get-mine's. Johnson, Josh Smith, Jamal Crawford, and Williams would take turns shooting contested 20-footers while more unselfish players like Al Horford and Kirk Heinrich wasted unused talent. Go to second round of playoffs, lose, rinse, repeat. With the clutter at the top gone and an influx of more traditional role players this season, the Hawks are in line for significantly better team chemistry, and just maybe, better results.

Josh Smith returns as the team's clear number one option, and along with a healthy Horford, Atlanta's starting frontcourt is nothing to sneeze at. (Why do people sneeze at things they don't like? Is it allergies?) Replacing Johnson at shooting guard will be Lou Williams, formerly of the 76ers, and the well-traveled Devin Harris takes over at backup point guard for the oft-injured Hinrich. Williams is skilled at getting to the line, although he's still a shoot-first player and doesn't have nearly the defensive size of Johnson. Also, by acquiring Kyle Korver and Anthony Morrow, the Hawks now have the deep threats to keep defenses honest and encourage Smith to roam the interior, where he can be his most devastating.

More than anything, if coach Larry Drew can change the offensive culture in Atlanta, this team could surprise. The 2012-13 Hawks are finally guaranteed to be something different this year, and for the poster child of NBA purgatory, that is a good thing.

Prediction: 45 - 37