There were some good things and some bad things about the performance of the Chicago Bears' offseason line in the preseason opener vs. the Denver Broncos last Thursday. The thing that could be considered the 'most bad': the line played horrible, led by a highly underwhelming effort from the starting protector of Jay Cutler' blindside, J'Marcus Webb. Webb played three quarters while most of the starters were out before the end of the first, a clear indication that offensive coordinator and o-line guru Mike Tice wasn't happy with his left tackle's effort.
Tice went a step further on Monday with a fantastic rant blasting Webb, simultaneously transitioning the on-going position battle with Chris Williams to 'full tilt'. Yes, Tice's rant was one of the silver linings to come from the porous offensive line play against Denver. The other? The way Webb responded to the criticism of his coach, the same way any 350 lbs man would do: by posting a poem across his social media feeds.
Does poem reference both cupcakes and tacos? You know it.
"Every morning I wake up, and get out of bed, while thoughts of preparing to battle dance in my head. No visions of cupcakes and tacos . Just football and being the best Left Tackle! Jwebb Nation stand strong! I'll conquer this battle like King Kong! I'll protect our quarterback and won't allow any sack! I'm giving my best everyday and there simply isn't anything left to say------BEAR DOWN!!!!"
This is my favorite thing. Between rhyming 'taco' with 'tackle' and vowing to protect the newly born Camden Cutler for life, J'Marcus Webb is quickly becoming one of SB Nation Chicago's favorite oddballs. If only he was any good at football :(