Rivalries are cool. Even if they are old, stale and against two mediocre, unranked teams. Like the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and Michigan Wolverines -- whom I will be referring to as the Tampons from here on out. Rivalries are even cooler (or cooler-îsima en Español (I just learned how to add the squiggly line thing, so forgive me)), if there is a wager on the game amongst two parties with rooting interests on opposite sides.
This is where SBN Chicago's Bobby Loesch and I -- Z.W. Martin -- come into the equation. You see, lovable readers, Bobby is a Tampons fan for reasons beyond me and I'm a true White-American-Christian (tWAC). Or Notre Dame fan. As Bobby hinted earlier in his weekly epic know as The Hybrid (seriously the best pre-weekend college football preview thing-y written by anyone, anywhere), we are betting on this game. Not for money, but for the humiliation of the other person. And that truly is what college football is about -- shaming your rivals (or if you're Wisconsin, embarrassing weaker teams by throwing up 50 to 70 points EVERY CHANCE YOU GET).
Details of the bet following the jump.
Since we're not degenerate gamblers, we are going straight up win or loss and not the line (which is, shockingly, about -3.5 Notre Dame). And here we go.
If Michigan were to win...
I have to sing the below song by everyone's favorite white-guy-with-good-hair-that-sings-with-conviction-and-grace, Josh Groban, at a Karaoke bar and then upload it to YouTube for all of you jerks to enjoy. Why you ask? Because this song made RichRod cry (and presumably me after Saturday). I assume I must wear a lot of Tampons crap, too. Maybe even face paint. Do you want face paint, Bobby? DO YOU?
I really need to practice my SERIOUS SINGING FACE.
If Notre Dame were to win...
A day of everything Irish directed by ME! Bobby asked what that meant, so I sent him the following email (kind of a rough draft/idea):
Things that will happen... you will be dressed as a leprechaun as you will be representing the wear of the great union of Ireland. You will be forced to drink a variety of drinks brewed/distilled in the great country of Ireland. You will eat various bounty from the great nation of Ireland. You will talk in a shitty Irish accent because that is the dialect of the great republic of Ireland. You will go to Catholic church drunk because that is the way of the confederation of Ireland. Other Irish shit will happen, too (like fighting for no reason).
If you have other suggestion for Bobby's Day O' Ireland, feel free to leave them in the comment section OR tweet/email me at the addresses listed below in my profile, yo.
Game info: 7 p.m. CST @ The Big House on ESPN
Awesome quote from Irish wideout Michael Floyd:
"It's just a regular game, but the sky is dark, and it's on a different channel."